Local Coog takes shortcut through Butler Plaza... goes back in time

"I always knew that my devil-may-care attitude towards societal norms allowed me to reach my CIS class faster than my peers, but I never suspected that I could save so much time that I would find myself sitting in my desk before zone parking was introduced."

Dante Vallare, notorious around campus for his 'fastest path between any two points is a straight line' mentality, noted that his shortcut through Butler Plaza has - by sheer defiance of physics - sent him back in time by 13 months. He discusses his goals as he relives the last few semesters of his life.

"I dunno, maybe I'll use Moviepass again so I can enjoy it before they made it totally worthless." Vallare states "I probably won't go to Sicario 2 this time though". Dante worries about his future... or future in the past... "I'm not sure how this will affect my graduation date... like am I still on track or what?"

Other Coogs have considered taking advantage of this strange phenomenon. A Sophomore, Gene Halman tells us, "I know there was this time during Freshman year I totally could have had a threesome with these total cuties, but I got cold feet... I'm still not sure if it's worth having to retake Finite Math though."

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